


Fallen Soldiers

by Byrdybyrd



Category: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Cartoon 2018), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Leo-centric - Freeform, Night Terrors, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, So much angst, Vomiting, Worried brothers, i'm sorry i love torturing my boy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2019-11-26
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:41:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21572386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Byrdybyrd/pseuds/Byrdybyrd
Summary: Leonardo was still falling off of that stupid roof, even when his feet touched the ground.
Relationships: Donatello & Leonardo (TMNT), Donatello & Michelangelo (TMNT), Donatello & Raphael (TMNT), Leonardo & Michelangelo (TMNT), Leonardo & Raphael (TMNT), Leonardo & Splinter (TMNT), Michelangelo & Raphael (TMNT)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 399





	Fallen Soldiers

**Author's Note:**

> HNG YES GIVE ME LEO TRAUMA AND ANGST AND ALL OF IT! YESSSSS!

Leonardo dreamt he was falling.

A common dream for him, honestly. Ever since he was little, he’d worry about slipping through the sewer grates that he used as a floor and being lost forever to the tide beneath. His daddy had assured him that no, Blue, you are too big to slip through those holes.

Leonardo never listened to his daddy too much.

He had been able to write his fear off as irrational, a small improbable tug at the back of his skull, until the night that Baron Draxum dropped him off of a building.

_ “Give him the bugs, just give him the bugs!” _

Who cared if he was bluffing? Leo’s  _ life  _ was at risk here! You don’t bet someone’s life for a jar of bugs.

_ “I’m not giving him the bugs!” _

Raph’s utter confidence set Leo’s heart to a stop. This was it. Raph was sending Leo to his death. He wasn’t even able to process whatever else Raph said afterwards before he was falling he was  _ falling he was falling- _

And he heard screaming. Leo wasn’t sure if it was his own or his brothers. He was pretty sure he said something, but couldn’t recall later for the life of him. Fear and adrenaline made him unable to completely think or function or do anything other than flail helplessly as he rocketed towards the unforgiving ground.

Then there was red red  _ red  _ everywhere, filling all corners of his vision. Leo wondered if he had hit the ground yet, but figured that he was still too scared to be dead. So, even as the red and the wind took his breath away and rushed past him, Leo continued to scream and cry wonder why Raph was even willing to call a bluff with so much at stake.

Later, Leo knew that Raph had saved him. He used his mystic tonfas and saved the day like the damn good  _ perfect _ big brother he was. He vaguely remembered telling Donnie and Mikey about the experience when they had gotten back to the lair, but both were probably too exhausted to properly register how close their brother had been to death earlier.

Leo chose never to bring it up again.

Unfortionately, his stupid subconscious disagreed with that sentiment.

When Leonardo slept, his dreams were plagued with  _ reds _ and  _ bluffs _ and  _ the horrific crack of one turtle hitting the ground  _ and _ oh fuck there’s so much red- _

It was dreams like this at had Leo waking up screaming. His brothers would be there, holding him down or bringing him water. On one such occasion, Splinter was there. He sang a song to lull him back to sleep, a Japanese lullaby about lions and the sky.

The mornings afterwards would suck tremendously. He would get  _ that look  _ from his brothers, and Splinter wouldn’t let them go topside for the day. Raph would dote on his every need, Donnie would give small suggestions and let Leo do whatever he wanted that day, and Mikey just hovered around him in a sad sort of silence.

And night terrors made him tired and drowsy and  _ oh so sleepy.  _ Leo would be asleep before they were even halfway done with a Jupiter Jim movie, and couldn’t bring himself to eat anything. If he wasn’t sleeping those days, he was retching.

“Post traumatic stress disorder,” Donnie diagnosed one day, typing with his back turned to his brother, but his voice lacked his usual coolness. He sounded rather sympathetic. “I’m surprised more of us haven’t been showing symptoms. Your dreams… they’re about Draxum and the roof, aren’t they?”

Ah, yes. The incident, the trauma shared only by one.

Leonardo had responded, “Raph was there too.”

“I am aware, Leon, and he has been dealing with his own trauma. But you’re still walking around, and seeing you here solves most of his problems.”

Leo thought about that. Yeah, he supposed Raph might have gotten a little messed up by watching his younger brother plummet because of those bugs because he was  _ there _ one second and then he wasn’t he was just gone he was falling and rocketing towards the ground and  _ oh god Leo was falling again- _

“Leo, hey! Look at me!” Strong hands on his shoulders snapped Leo back to lucidity, and he looked up to realize he was now under the watchful gaze of Donatello. “... you good? You kind of spaced out there for a second and started shaking.”

Leo stepped back. “I’m fine,” he assured, before leaving and proceeding to lose his breakfast in the toilet once again.

PTSD, huh?

Leonardo had seen enough war movies and documentaries to have a basic understanding of PTSD. He supposed he was a soldier, in some ways. Since young, he and his brothers constantly trained and fought and prepared for a battle their father had run away from himself.

Young soldiers, ready to fall in the line of duty.

Quite literally.

**Author's Note:**

> Wow. Ok. Season 2 premiere??? FINALE??? Good god that was beautiful. Love my boy leo.


End file.
